


Candles & Thunderbolts

by pixiedurango



Series: The Arya Trevelyan Files [5]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Love Triangles, Multi, Romance, Secret Crush, it's complicated - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-11
Updated: 2015-03-11
Packaged: 2018-03-17 10:02:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3525083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pixiedurango/pseuds/pixiedurango
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arya Trevelyan is still trying to deal with her crush on Cullen while already in a romance with Blackwall (and in fact liking it pretty much, too).<br/>It starts getting awkward when Arya has to try on the festive-clothings for the Winter-Palace and Cullen accidental drops into Josephines Office.<br/>Later on things start to speed up with an unexpected encounter and a Mission to the Western Approach<br/>Beside this the Inquisitor still has issues to deal with being just that: The Inquisitor.<br/>Being in charge to save a whole world standíng at the abyss, acting always like an adult, responsibility for your people and still being kind to yourself... some serious challenges for a former circle-mage from a noble house with a hot temper.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Second attempt to help my Inquisitor handle her love-life and other stuff that bothers her.  
> Though we get close to it (regarding nudity, making out and stuff, you will find that in chapter 2 and 3) I decided not going all the way with both of her LI, so far. It feels just right to keep some tension in the whole thing.
> 
> Still English is not my mothertongue so please be gentle regarding grammar and typos.  
> Have taken some conversation lines out off the game and used them liberately where they seemed to fit.  
> Everything Dragon Age:Inquisition belongs to Bioware, I just lend it to give my fantasy a playground.  
> Putting occasional Song-Lyrics on top of my fics may be odd but I often have strange connections between songs an things I write so excuse me my flamboyance.

„Forget it, Josephine. I’m not going to wear anything like that. Never.Ever. End of discussion!“ Arya Trevelyan unbuttoned the red jacket from the set of festive clothes quickly and threw it careless over the arm of a random chair.

The Antivan Ambassador of the Inquisition opened her mouth to say something diplomatic about representation and duties and Orlesian habits. But with one look in the stubborn face of the black haired Inquisitor she remained silent.

By that time Arya had also peeled herself out of the matching brown pants and stood there in Josephines office with nothing on but her underwear, a little white shift with pretty lace-applications and a matching panty. She did not care in front of Josie because she considered her chief diplomat a friend. Beside that they had been out swimming together in one of the hidden hot springs near Skyhold so the Antivan had nothing in view what was not already be seen. 

And Josie couldn’t care less at the moment.  
Arya was speaking out her opinion directly if not blunt sometimes. And when she had an opinion, there usually was nothing going to change that.  
Josephine tried to make up a quick plan B.

„Look, Ary, weeeeee...“ She began with a soft voice, stretching the words to buy her more time for thinking, when she saw that the Inquisitor crossed her Arms in front of her chest in a stubborn gesture. Josephine fell to silence again and so they stood frowning at each other.

That was exactly the moment, when Cullen finished his current task, gathered his notes and reports which he had spread all over the war-table and headed for the door and pushed it open.  
A second later, the notes and reports had been fallen to the floor of Josephines office and the Commander of the Inquisition tried to pick them up desperately. His cheeks were burning and though he wanted to apologise like a gentleman should in a situation like this, he could just little more than stutter some words with no clear context and a lot of errrrs and ummms...

Arya also was petrified for a second when she realised that her secret crush just caught her in her undies. But only a moment and she had gained back her usual kinkiness. A broad grin enlightened her blue-violet eyes.

„Commander Cullen, just the right time.“ Arya gave her voice what she called the ‚candy-undertone’ „You MUST tell Josephine that these garments are fine and all but just not for me...“ She pointed at the festive clothes on the chair as if she was not standing half naked in front of Inquisitions war-master.

"Errrrrrm... sure, Lady Inquisitor... it's... err..."

Josephine took the opportunity to draw the Commander onto her side of the story despite the fact that she knew that Cullen could barely deny any request from Arya. It was more than obvious that he had some hidden feelings for the Inquisitor.  
"Look, Cullen, I think you'll understand the necessity of showing up all dressed alike to the ball in Orlais. Bad enough we won't wear masks but we need to demonstrate unity amongst the Inquisition. Of course our Inquisitor is an unique person and outstanding leader but she will point that out just with her stunning personality, I'm sure."

Cullen looked puzzled from one woman to the other and tried hard to figure out how to save hisself out of that mess he did nothing to stumble into but opening the wrong door at the wrong time.

"Stop bullshitting Josie, I perfectly know why we shall wear this uniform and maybe you are right, but I'm simply not gonna wear it. If you won't bring a tailor to get me something different, I'll go in my armour or even in my pajamas... I'd rather go naked before I'll wear that uniform. And thank you for your support, too, Cullen!" she snapped, turned around, grabbed her clothes from the floor and desperately tried to jump into them with some dignity. Which gloriously failed as she lost balance and stumbled to the floor with her pants half around her ankles. Cullen made two steps towards her in order to help but hold his step immediately when she hissed: "Don't. You. Dare." She pulled her clothes into fit and dashed out, door banging behind her.

Cullen cleared his throat to fill the uncomfortable silence in Josephines office while the Ambassador was shifting inconvenient from one foot to another. 

"Well..." she said after a while, "that was... intense."

Cullen shrugged. "Don't know... would have expected something like that from Sera... but Arya? There must be something that bothers her with this uniform." 

"Better we find out soon, because we need her at her best at the ball." Josephine beamed at Cullen. "Would you mind to talk to her about it? I think I should better not bother her again with it but I also don't want to involve all Skyhold into that matter as long as I can prevent it. Just imagine Cassandra hears of it... Inquisitor or not, she would MAKE Arya wear that uniform..."

"M... me?" the Commander blushed "S...ure... I can try. But maybe we should keep Cassandra in mind... as a final option..." a slight smile appeared on his face and Josie winked at him before she nodded briefly and returned to her desk.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Arya was swearing nasty curses as she headed to the staircases. Out. Out, into the cold on the battlements to cool down her temper and her anger. She knew exactly her outburst had been inappropriate and childish but she did not give a single damn about that right now. Later she would have to buy a drink or two for Josie to apologise and... Fuck it... she would have to explain a few things, too.

After a few minutes of walking on the battlements she swung herself on the balustrade, legs dangling outside the massive walls. There she simply was and sat still for a while watching the skies. 

"This is such a heavy thing to do. Must be good. Must be perfect. Can’t fail." a soft voice out of nothing appeared behind her und Cole came to sit next to her. His boyish face covered by his enormous hat he just sat there beside her until suddenly he resumed voicing her thoughts again. "All they are relying on me. Heavy. All so heavy on my heart... All I ever wanted was to be free...“ Coles voice faded and they sat there in silence for a while. Then again he spoke: „A red robe. It was just a red robe. Taken away. All looks the same. Blue robes everywhere. Alike but not equal. Want the red robe back.“

„Strange hearing someone speaking out your thoughts aloud.“ She said quietly after a while. 

„Why?“ he asked.

„Well, you hear yourself... no new stuff... but from kind of another prospective and sometimes it just sounds different once it’s outside your own head. And you rethink it.“

„Does it help?“

She smiled. „Yes, Cole, it does. You help.“

„Good.“ A little insecure smile in his voice..

„Yes.“ She nodded.

„Do you want to forget that I helped you?“ Cole asked.

Arya turned her head until she was able to see a bit of his face under his hat. She reached out for his hand and grabbed it for a second. „No, Cole. You are my friend. And we should never forget about friends who helped us.“

„This sounds good for me. I like friends who are not afraid of me though they know what I do.“ Mimicking her gesture, he took her hand for a moment, grasping it softly then letting go again.

„Thank you, Cole.“ Arya said, swinging her legs back on the battlement-floor again. „Gotta go now. Have a few excuses to make.“

„Yes.“ He simply said but just when she was already near the staircase she heard his voice again: „Don’t worry, but take care. Sometimes it only takes a candle to burn down a house. Love is like fire. Warm. Home. Lust sometimes is like love but dangerous like a thunderbolt. Fire is warm but can kill, too. Don’t forget the candle... The house. You must protect the house.“

Oh myyy...  
Arya entered the staircase and tried to clear up the mess in her head while she stepped down to the next level. She liked Cole. Despite the fact sometimes he went from strange to creepy in just one sentence


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an unexpected encounter after having some trouble with Josephine and a creepy conversation with Cole.
> 
> June 14 2015  
> Have edited this chapter and put a little more spice into it. We are all adults here, after all. ;)

So you wanna play with magic  
Boy you should know what you're fallin' for  
Baby do you dare to do this

Katy Perry – Dark Horse

She had avoided the tavern this evening.

Instead she had grabbed some food at the kitchen and then headed for her quarters where she settled on her bed provided with a pile of reports she had promised to study in preparation for the upcoming war-table meeting the next morning. It was not easy to concentrate. Still too many thoughts lingered in her head not letting her do her work properly. But she fought down the urge to just let it be and running to the stables to check if she could find a bit distraction in Blackwalls arms. Instead she forced herself to focus and continued studying some reports about herbs in the Hinterlands.

With a huge sigh she finally looked up a few hours later, tossed the boring report away, stretched her back and rubbed her burning eyes. It was pitch-black dark outside, she guessed somewhat around midnight.

She knew she had to sleep but she did not feel tired. So Arya got up and crossed her ridiculous huge chamber. Stepping on her balcony she wandered around and with girlish curiosity she checked to see that there were still lights on at the stables workshop... She grinned... Well, a bit of Blackwalls company seemed not a bad idea right now...

Or should she dare... Her eyes wandered to the other tower opposite her own. Also still lights on at the commanders office... Tempting... Just for the fun of it...

Beside... She owed Cullen an apology, too... Her heart seemed to beat a bit faster when she thought about sneaking around Skyhold and slipping into forbidden places.

_Lust sometimes is like love but dangerous like a thunderbolt._

Suddenly Coles words echoed in her head and her smile faded.

_You must protect the house._

It was not worth it, she decided with a sigh. As desperately as she wanted to explore her odd feelings for Cullen she also was eager to go intensify her relationship with Blackwall and she hoped he would be breaking the ice soon. She knew she could not afford to go after both desires at once on behalf of the Inquisitions good name but that did not prevent her from thinking and rethinking about what _could_ be...

She gathered all the scrolls and papers from her bed and careless piled them up on her desk. She entered the little alcove where she hid her wardrobe and all the stuff that seemed inappropriate laying around in the clean emptiness of the main-chamber. Arya slipped out of her daytime clothes and grabbed one of the silken nightgowns she purchased last time she went shopping in Val Royeaux with Josie and Vivienne. This one matched her blue-violet eyes and for a moment she just stood there still bare-naked and enjoyed the feel of the soft fabric in her hands. Then she suddenly felt the cold night creeping under her skin and she slipped into the gown. She dashed back into the big room, giggled to herself while jumping onto her ridiculous huge bed and snuggled deeper into the warm and furry blankets and pillows.

‚ _Why the fuck, Blackwall isn’t here right now?’_ She asked herself, _‚People are talking shit anyway so why holding back?’_ She missed him dearly but at the same time in her opinion the next step was his not hers.

What was that? A knock? At her door? At this time?

_Blackwall..._

Without thinking she jumped out of her bed and sped downstairs to the door. She teared it open and... Realized it was not Blackwall.

Cullen stood on her door sill in the middle of the night, awkwardly stepping from one foot to another obviously not sure, what he was doing.

A horde of unsorted thoughts stampeded through her head and so she just stood there, saying nothing, staring at him.

„Errrm...My... Lady Inquisitor...“ He began, then cleared his throat and started all over again: „Please forgive me my intrusion at this unholy time. But I saw that there was still light at your window... Errr... I can go if I am at inconvenience...“ He glanced at her delicate and revealing nightgown and blushed.

‚ _He thinks that I’m not alone..._ ’ She realized and blushed, too.

„Well, what a pleasant surprise...“ She hurried to speak and made a inviting gesture. „I’m sure you would not disturb at this unusual time if it was not absolutely necessary...“ She smiled and could not help giving her voice a teasing edge. „Please come in, I’ll be with you in a second. It’s a bit cold, you know... And Cullen, shut the door please, the kitchen-cat loves to sneak in and hides her prey in my bed for some reason...“she turned on her heel and with swaying hips she climbed the stairs up to her room.

‚Stop rambling about cats and doors, stupid thing!’ she shouted at her self while thinking desperately about what to do now.

Cullen did as she asked but not for a second he was able to drag his eyes from her swinging backside... He hurried up the stairs just behind her.

She turned to the backrooms to the left and because he did not know, what to do and where to sit he stepped out on the balcony while he was waiting for her to return. He was absolutely not sure where this was going but he felt obliged to come here since he had promised it to Josephine earlier to discuss the matter of the festive uniforms again.

He had postponed it all day, finally calling himself a coward and when he saw still light in her chambers he decided to do what had to be done in the most professional way possible no matter what day- or night-time. Now he was not sure anymore if this had been such a smart idea. Of course it was a stupid and made up excuse to see her and maybe catch a private minute with her. He was well aware what brought him here. But of course he could not admit it so easily, not even to him self.

Arya tried to think.

By Andrastes butt, she needed something to put on.

Something _appropriate_.

But not _that_ appropriate.

A little fun and games should be allowed with a man who dares to knock at a ladies door after midnight...

Finally she just grabbed the plaid from her bed and wrapped herself into it the most decorative way possible. She put on some light fur boots and covered up like this, Arya stepped out to the balcony.

"Sooooooo... Commander." she opened the conversation stretching the first word in a teasing way, when she stepped beside him as he was leaning against the balustrade. "what circumstances do I owe the pleasure of your company?"

"Well actually... Josephine asked me to speak with you..." she could sense how cautious he was. Speaking like walking on thin ice. Always aware that one wrong step could be fatal.

"Oh... that..." Arya looked stoically into the black of the night only not to have him look into the eyes. "It seems, I was a bit harsh to you both. I will buy Josie a drink and explain tomorrow. Everything is fine now and I hope she will accept my apologies."

Cullen raised one of his eyebrows in surprise.

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"But how? I mean... it really seemed bothering you a great deal that we ask you about that uniform... Josie was already willing to bring the tailor in again to find something you would feel more comfortable with." Cullen bit his tongue. _'Dammit, she just said she was fine and now you offer her a walk-around though... stupid, stupid, stupid!!!_ '

"Had a serious talk with Cole after I left you and Josie..." she turned her head and grinned into Cullens face, "Well, as far as you can call it talking to _Cole_... let's face it: Talking to Cole is more or less like having serious conversations with yourself..."

"Yeah... I know what you mean... and it perfectly makes sense..." Cullen grinned back and suddenly he became aware again where he was and that he should not be here. He stiffened his back and stepped back from the balustrade until his back touched the cold tower-walls. "My... Lady Inquisitor. I... I am happy that you feel better. May... I ask what the problem was about? Not that I want to interfere with your personal matters, but... forgive me.... just out of curiosity..."

She turned away from the view leaning her back against the balustrade and drew the plaid tighter around herself.

"You are a soldier. A former templar. I don't expect you to understand it but I can't stand the idea being forced wearing an uniform again. I hated the uniform-gowns in the circle and was more than happy to get rid of them when I ran off. So the first reaction was to reject. You know..." she was beaming another smile at him, "being the Inquisitor should have some perks..."

He relaxed a bit and stepped a few inches towards her.

"You mean beside the privilege to travel all around Thedas and kicking demons' butts and other crap?" he also smiled now.

"Yeah, beside stuff like that." the plaid slipped down her right shoulder but she did not bother to put it back up, "Or the pleasure to deal with some fanatic mages of some Tevinter cult..."

"I think I get the point my lady Inqui... _Arya_..." his voice went low and soft. He knew he shouldn't but he could not help it. Two more steps and he stood in front of her.

"Cullen." she said softly but somehow determined, "Why are you here? And don't say on behalf of Josephine. If it was, it would have been enough to send a message tomorrow and meet me somewhere else."

They stood very close now.

"Maybe you are right. But it would have been hard for me no matter when or where. I’m confused, my lady. You confuse me. More than you should. Sometimes by the things you say or do. The way you look at me. Joke with me. Flirt with me. Sometimes it’s just your presence, your laughter. I thought we were close...“ He shrugged, „Next thing I learn is that you committed yourself to Blackwall.“

"All true, but still no explanation of your being here now."

Cullen lifted his hand and touched her cheek. She resisted to lean her head into that touch and close her eyes. This was too important to just play it away. She kept on looking in his eyes while he resumed to speak.

"I don't know. I only know that I cannot change anything. I should not interfere but I want to believe that I was not wrong... Just tell me one thing: Do you feel anything for me beside friendship?"

„You know that I do, Cullen.” Her voice was only a harsh whisper.

„But why then? Only one word and I would have been yours.” His voice faded.

„Cullen, listen. Both of you matter. Things are not that simple...“ She sounded sad.

“I can see that. But what do we make of it?”

“We?” she raised an eyebrow almost in amusement.

“Yes Arya. We.” Without another word, he dragged her into his arms and started kissing her passionately.

In the first moment, Arya was surprised and unable to react. Then she tried to escape for a moment by pushing her hands against his chest. Finally she relaxed and gave in, wrapping her arms around him. Why shoving him away? It was just what she wanted now. Feeling his lips on hers. His hands on her body. The plaid fell down on the floor, she did not care.

Then she realized that they still stood on the balcony, rooms behind her were fully enlightened and their silhouettes could be seen perfectly in the dark of the night if anyone just cared to look up.

“Cullen…” she barely freed her lips from his. “We cannot… stay here… the lights… inside… please.”

With one swift movement he grabbed her up, one arm under her knees, the other behind her back and carried her into the chamber. Straight to her bed.

With a little magic gesture she extinguished all the candles in the room so there was only the moon giving some pale light. He did not recognize the magic and he did not care right now.

Cullen laid her down, sliding next to her. His kisses were hungry and his hands almost trembling while he was exploring her soft skin. He always had imagined this moment to be sweet and slow and soft but now he felt like in a fever for he did not know whether this was only a dream and he would suddenly wake up. And before waking up he felt he need to discover it all, fulfilling all his longings at once because there might never come a chance again. And so he could not be calm and slow and he did not care that he was on her like in a fury. And she did not object. Did nothing to stop him. The responses to his kisses were fierce and full of passion, so he assumed that she liked it that way.

At the same time he wanted to talk to her, ask all the questions lingering in his head, looking for answers but he did not dare to break the magic of the moment. His lips were trailing down her neck, eliciting soft groans of anticipation from her.

His eager hands pulled down the straps of her nightgown while she was hastily opening the buckle of his red coat and tugging his shirt out of his breeches. The sound of ripping fabric when he was not able to pull it over his head fast enough as he wanted to get rid of it to feel more of her skin against his.

He felt her nails scratching softly over his back. They may or may not mark the skin but filled him with a sensation that made him shiver and moan. She was clearly on the wild side when it came to intimacy. Not brutish or violent just not afraid to use some claws and teeth. She was placing love bites between kissing his chest, some maybe to suppress her own moans. Maybe he would have to leave the shirt on while on the training yards for several days but this was so worth it. Her gown had fallen down to her hips and after he finally dared to touch her breasts with his hands caressing them almost shy for he was not sure how far he could go, he buried his face between them. Inhaling her sweet scent that reminded him of caramel candies he knew from his childhood.

„Maker, Arya... you smell so good.” he murmured against her skin. He longed to go on, but still felt insecure though finally she was right in front of him. Almost naked and not objecting at all. He was sure he would not find anything but bare skin, when he’d pull down that gown entirely and there was nothing he wished to do more than this now.

He could not stop to kiss and caress her as if he was afraid when he stopped now he would never get the chance to do it again.

Cullens lips were searching for hers again and he drew her back in his arms holding her close as if he would never let her out from his embrace.

She felt his arousal pulsing against her hips and his heart was beating fast when she ran her hands over the hot skin of his chest.

She was ready to give in.

She wanted him.

Making love to him, feeling his skin on hers and forgetting that there was a world to save outside that bed was all she could think about right now.

But something felt not right. An uncomfortable itch in her mind that reminded her hat she could not act anymore like she used to do when she was younger.

Acting like not being responsible for anything but herself was not longer an option. There was so much at stake and wasting it for a night of lust was not worth it.

It was not right to just go on without any thought on consequences.

Arya forced her self to think clear again. She was committed to someone else.

People in general were relying on her and she should not play with that trust for her own pleasure. She could not afford bringing turmoil and rumors into the Inquisition. She had to consider what to do.

She was sure that not many leaders made their mind up about honor and moral when it came to their love life. But the Inquisition still had to prove to the people that they offered something people could identify with. Acting like some rotten noblefolk, fucking around with everyone they lusted after, was no option for a movement that still had to prove themselves. And especially as their leader she would have to be a kind of example.

Cullen finally felt her hesitation and lifted his self up and came to rest on his elbows to look down to her with a little distance. Her face was still close. It was lit by the moonlight and her vibrant violet eyes seemed to be gleaming much darker than usual. She was breathing heavy and he could see that she still was aroused and longed for relief. But he dragged his thoughts away from this. She would not break the moment without a reason. His hand went to her cheek, caressing her in an almost helpless gesture.

“What are we doing…” he asked in a sad and baffled voice after a while.

Arya shook her head.

“I don’t know. It’s all so weird. It would not feel right, going on ignoring the facts. I want you. But I also feel for... _him.._.” The words were out before she could think about them and she felt how he cringed when she said it out loud.

“Arya… my lady…” he tried to put everything back to their normal distance but obviously it was a hard thing to do while laying in a bed together, half naked.

She eventually pulled up her gown again in an awkward gesture and both they knew at this point that it would be impossible to go back to innocence. Cullen hesitated again. Searching for the right words, trying to think reasonable: “If things outside were different… normal… we would find a way to sort things out. I would be ready to… _find a solution_ …” he left open what kind of solution he had in mind. “But the circumstances are complicated. The inquisition is still young and vulnerable... You are…” his lips touched hers in a soft and somehow sad way. “We cannot afford any more gossip about the Inquisitor and her love-life. Having her in a relationship with one of her companions is gossip enough… we cannot put another person into the game.”

“I know. And I understand.” She said. “But it hurts.”

“Yes it hurts. But it is too dangerous to give in. You know how gossip spreads. Especially in camps like Skyhold. Military and civil folks. Walls and trees and everything else has ears and eyes. Let’s just hope my sneaking in here tonight will stay undetected."

"I don't know what to say..." Arya shrugged, wrapped her arms around him and snuggled into the warm comfort of his embrace. "One part of me is happy you came here. This part wants you to stay and forget everything outside. Wants to strip you out of your clothes and fuck you all night."

He looked at her in surprise for this was not the choice of words he’d ever expected from a lady. But no matter how blunt her words, her smile was soft and she carried herself with so much dignity that in fact it appealed him a great deal hear her using such a raw word. He decided that he loved that in her, too. Beside at least a million other things.

And yet...

He sighed

"Please..." Cullens eyes had giving him away by lighting up for a second when they found hers and a little reckless smirk appeared on his face. But he tried hard not to show his affection. "Do not tempt me with such ideas. And words... We need to be decent. Both."

"I know, Cullen. And I will. But I can't deny how I feel. I can be reasonable. I can stay away from you. But I can not make myself not wanting you. So if you stay now we will go on with this until the end. I know that and you know that, too. If we decide to stay decent, then go. Now. And do not ask me what I want, because I already told you."

He watched her for a moment in the pale moonlight. Her adorable forms under the dark nightgown, her well trained arms and legs, her soft face under the raven black hair that laid spread all over the white blanket now. How he wished to touch her but he did not allow himself to go back on that road again.

"You are right. I shall go now." He lifted his self up heavily. She barely let go of him, but knew she should not make it any more difficult by playing games and so she finally let go off him.

"Maybe if things were different..." she started, but he gently placed a finger on her lips.

"I cannot speak to that..." he interrupted her softly in a sad voice and finally dragged his self away from her and stood a moment in front of the bed, taking a last look on her dark beauty. He would need that last image from her. To remember this night because most likely this was all he was going to have here. "Good night, My Lady Inquisitor." he turned away and a few moments later he had left the Inquisitors chambers without a noise.

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After her latenight encounter with Cullen Arya literally flees on a mission to the Western Approach. There not only the weather gets hot...

Every bad day needs it, every good day breeds it  
No matter how it feels when it's real  
You know it's real  
It's stronger than anybody any man has ever made

The power touches me, the power helps us see  
The power holds my hand, yeah the power drives me crazy

Cher – The Power

 

Leliana and Josephine exchanged glances when Cullen entered the council-room the next morning. He looked wasted and worn out and he was definately in an ill mood, barely able to spare a morning-greeting for his fellow council members.

„Can we start?“ He growled.

„As soon as we are complete, Commander.“ Josephine replied utterly kind.

The door opened again and Arya sneaked into the council-room.  
More glances between Leliana and Josephine.  
The Inquisitor looked tired and her eyes were red like she had cried a lot recently. She nodded briefly instead of a greeting and stood still like a statue in front of the war-table, Arms folded in front of her chest.  
Arya and Cullen were not able to look at each other so they stared on the surface of the table intead.  
Josephine suddenly hurried to begin the meeting so that there was no more uncomfortable silence.  
The Inquisitor made quick decisions this morning and left no space for arguing and discussion. After one hour the upcoming plans were settled and without wasting one look or word, she turned on her heels and fled out of the council-room in order to pack her things for the mission she just scheduled herself to.

Cullen watched her leave, his heart wrenched but his face did not show anything.

“Are you alright, Cullen?” Josie asked kindly and he nodded automatically. He grabbed his scrolls and left without another word leaving the two women puzzled and a bit worried.

“What do you think Leliana?” Josephine asked after the door had closed behind the Commander.

“I appreciate that they all get so familiar and close with each other, but it also is dangerous so many feelings… We need to see that we will not get distracted from our main goal.” The Spymaster answered with a neutral voice.

The Antivan nodded while the two women headed to the door and further into Josephines office.  
“I guess you are right. But I trust our Inquisitor to do the right thing. She may be young and has a quick temper but she also is a lot wiser and braver than it seems. I’m sure she can handle it whatever it is.”

“I agree, but it won’t do any harm to be aware and ready if necessary.” Leliana said, greeted and left the Ambassadors office return to her raven-tower.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Cullen sat at his desk, a wooden box in front of him. He was staring on what was inside motionless for far too long.  
This damn Lyrium had become so appealing again…  
So easy to get rid of these heavy dreams. The pain. The feelings…  
Just functioning. Not thinking. That would be so much easier.

NO!

With fierce anger and a furious cry he wiped the box from the table… There was shattering glas and fuming substances in his office but Cullen did not care. He would be dealing with this mess later. For now he just had to leave this room. Needed some fresh air and some way to distract himself from musing. He grabbed his Sword and shield and headed to the training area.

His recruits had a very long and hard day…

 

~ ~ ~

 

 _‘What the fuck is wrong with her?’_ Bulls glance seemed to ask but Blackwall just shook his head. He had no idea.

Arya had been extremely quiet since they had left Skyhold to the Western Approach. When she spoke she was just edgy, full of sarcasm and aggressive undertones.  
She had put a good number of tasks on their schedule and had estimated to stay quite some time in this sandy wilderness. Today it was all about scouting and mapping.  
She felt, that she needed some time away from Skyhold. Away from Cullen and her strange yearning for him. Time to get closer to Blackwall.  
Whom she desired, too.  
It was all weird.  
She needed to figure out what was going on.  
She grinned to herself, when the next thought plopped into her mind:  
_‘I need to get laid soon. Before things even go crazier than they are already.’_

She was running fast in front of her party, always holding her staff at attention, shooting deadly sparks and angry battle-cries on nearly everything what crossed her path. The troops would have to carry loads of dead animals and loot back to Skyhold.

She had chosen Bull, Blackwall and Varric to join her on this mission. Usually she enjoyed having Sera and Dorian with her but she had no sense for any chitchat at the moment. Or someone poking into her private matters. So she had assigned the three _big guys_ who were just the right party for smashing anything from here to Tevinter and back into dust.  
The guys were quite busy to keep up with her and had to jump in for several times she started skirmishes with bandits and Venatori before they were close enough to handle it properly. Ususally they coordinated before attacking by making eye-contact or exchanging a few words or signs. Today she was just storming forward and they had to cope to make sure she stayed safe.

When Varric opened his mouth a few times to complain, the others stopped him.  
In a quiet moment, when she was so far ahead she could not hear them Bull murmured:  
“Let her be. Our Boss has something bothering her. She must deal with it on her own terms and our damn job is, to make sure she survives it until she is done with it. I’m pretty sure she will get calmer after a time and then we can reason with her. Now she will eat you alive if you try to talk to her, storyteller. And you…” Bull shot a sharp look in Blackwalls direction, “Take care for your Lady! Make her feel appreciated and loved, after all she is a woman. Your woman! And a damn hot one, if I may add, so this should not be a task too difficult.”

“I don’t think I need any advice how to treat a lady from a Qunari-Spy. Or anyone else!” Blackwall growled indignated.

“Well it’s up to you to prove that! You can ask me anytime for help…” Bull smirked at the Warden which earned him another angry grunt.

“Can we just be friends again and go back looking after the Inquisitor?” Varric stated with an sarcstic voice and waved in the direction where Arya was running into a bunch of Hyena. She started attacking them with her spells and by cutting them literally in half with the sharp end of her staff. But it was a big pack and the warriors saw that it was going to be too dangerous for one fighter alone.

All three of them cursed at the same time and ran off to help.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Bull had been right. After several hours of rampage Arya became calmer and finally stopped leading irrational attacks without caring what was going on around her. She was not ready to speak or apologize, but at least she did not endanger herself and her party anymore.

It was almost around sundown when they finally reached the campsite and prepared everything for the first night in the desert. After raising the tents, lighting a campfire and taking some water from a nearby pond Varric and Bull volunteered for making some stew. 

Arya got up from her place at the campfire and with a nod she asked Blackwall to accompany her.  
„Bring your sword, just in case. We can’t be sure the area is completely safe.“

„Of course, My Lady. Where are we going if I may ask?“

„I could tell you.“ she teased him and for the first time this day she was able to speak friendly. „But only if you stop being so damn stiff and formal with me.“

„Granted, My... Dammit...this ain’t easy. But I’ll do my best.“  
He had left his heavy armor-gloves at the camp and so he could lay one of his big hands on the backside of her neck while they walked through the dusty nature-side. „So where does my beautiful lady lead me?“

„Back to the pond where we took the water. I need a bath. Not only I’m covered in blood and gore, this fucking sand seems to be literally everywhere...“

His eyes lit in affection and his grip on her neck got firmer, causing her to stop walking. She turned towards him and he drew her into his arms. Her hands came resting on his shoulders, his were wrapped around her.

„So, this is an invitation?“ he asked with a slight smile.

She smiled back, relaxing in his embrace. This was exactly what she needed now.  
“Well, first of all it is the necessity to bring a bodyguard when you intend to strip bare naked and go swimming in an area that’s not completely cleared.”

“So you just want me to watch…” his voice became a bit harsh.

“Would you like that?” she teased.

“Who wouldn’t” he sounded completely serious but his eyes were showing that he liked their little game.

“So let’s go then and see what we can do for you.” She smiled promising and he opened his arms so they could walk on.  
They continued their way and a few minutes later they arrived at the pond. It was surrounded at three sides by orange-brown scarps and in the fading daylight it seemed like the most peaceful place.

After a few steps they were almost hidden by the twilight and she let go of his hand she had held the last few minutes of their walk.

“Wanna help?” she said in a low voice and he replied:

“Would be my pleasure, My Lady.” Deliberately and concentrated he began to unbutton her mage-armor and helped her out of the undergarments until she stood in front of him only with her shift and panty on. “You are not only brave and strong and a hell of a fighter but also such a beauty. I feel like the luckiest old bastard in this world, that you want to be with me.” Blackwall said softly, then pinned her against the escarpment and kissed her with passion.

After a while she careful freed herself from his embrace, spotted a soft kiss on his lips.  
“We’ve got plenty of time for this later, just let me jump into the water now until it gets too dark to see anything. Let’s be save out here” 

He spread his arms to the side to emphasize she was free and watched with growing desire as she jumped immediately out of her undies and ran into the water. Goofing around and squeaking like no one was watching. Arya just felt free and enjoyed a few moments of being not responsible for anything just jumping around and be some kind of happy.

The Warden settled himself on a big rock beside the water and watched her with a chuckle. He appreciated that she just was herself not putting up a show for him though she knew he was watching. She ducked under the surface a few times, rubbing the dirt out of her hair and from her body. He could barely see her smiling face in the light of dusk but all he could sense was that she was happy and this made him feel better, too.  
He wished he could know what caused her bad mood earlier that day but Blackwall was wise enough not to ask questions now. Everything at a time.

After a while Arya stepped out of the pond, running up to him and hugged him nude and soaking wet as she was. His hands grasped her buttocks while he was still sitting on the rock so they were perfect to reach for him.

“Careful, little filly.” he teased her using his secret pet-name for her for the first time aloud. “Now you got to go a second time in because my armor is still a dirty mess.” 

She looked down on herself making a disgusted noise and ran into the water a second time.  
When she returned this time she reached for her clothing and after a few more moments she was all dressed again.

“Now you!” she demanded “I volunteer for the watch!” 

“My Lady?” 

“It is your turn.”

“Well… I don’t know if this is necessary…” he looked somewhat puzzled not sure what to make of her request.

“Believe me, it is!” she grinned but her voice left no space for an argument so Blackwall finally obeyed. A bit insecure he started to open the buckles of his plates and paddings. She had placed herself on the rock trying to catch as much of the show but it had become dark so she just got some vague impressions of his body while he dashed into the water and back in about half a minute. But anyway she liked what she saw.  
“I could help out with some light-ball…” she suggested playful and stretched out her right hand for a simple magical gesture. Some sparks appeared but she did not enlarge them.

“That would be not necessary…” he insisted while hasty grabbing his pants. She chuckled upon his obvious shyness about nudity but let the magic sparks fade in her hand. “Shall we go back to the camp, filly?” he asked her after putting back on his jacket placing a soft kiss on her temple.

“Let’s go and see what we get for supper.” 

The Iron Bull gave Blackwall an approving wink when they returned to the camp and Arya placed herself comfortable next to the campfire, humming one of the songs she had picked up lately in the tavern.

When he handed her over a bowl with some hot and spicy stew, Bull asked surprisingly soft:

“Better, Boss? It seemed you had a hell of a day…”

Her eyes seem to pierce him for a second but then she smirked.  
“Yeah, kind of. Thanks for asking. And thanks for several times saving my butt from dumb ways to die… I mean all of you, guys… I was a kind of a spitfire today… that should not be the way to lead an Inquisition.”

Varric acknowledged her confession by saying: “Being able to admit something like this is brave enough for a leader. So let’s say what happens in the Western Approach stays in the Western Approach. And now enjoy your stew… I guess sauted phoenix is not a common dish elsewhere…” 

And with this they closed this matter. Only Blackwall was still musing.


End file.
